Today I walked into an A T & T Wireless store with a friend of mine.  After several weeks of resisting temptation, I had finally given into my desire to purchase yet another wireless Bluetooth headset for use with my adored Samsung Black Jack II Smart Phone.  I say “yet another” because having it would make me the proud owner of seven such devices acquired over the past four years.

Without dragging you or any civilized mind into my sordid wireless device purchasing history, suffice it to say that what I was going to buy today was different; what I was going to buy today was special; what I was going to buy today was something that had always managed to elude me; what I was going to buy today would make me whole; what I was going to buy today, boys and girls, was stereo Bluetooth. 

Believe it or not, stereo Bluetooth is a recent technology with specifications not defined by or limited to the number of earpieces required in order to achieve a high level of listening satisfaction. 

As my companion and I entered the store, we were warmly welcomed by two sales representatives.  As is my custom, I asked to see the manager with whom I have done business in the past. 

A few moments later, being ever considerate of my poor eyesight, she greeted me by saying my name and placing her forearm next to my hand so as to invite me to walk with her.

After introducing her to my companion and engaging in the usual social niceties of the moment, I informed her that I intended to purchase a stereo, A2DP compliant Bluetooth headset for my adored Samsung Black Jack II Smart Phone. 

She quickly replied that she had several models in stock and, upon doing so, hurried away to retrieve them for my perusal.

Five minutes later, the two sales representatives by whom we were first approached, the store manager, my companion, and I were standing around a sales counter with four high end and very high priced Bluetooth bobbles at the center of our attention. 

We, my friend and I that is, were amazed as we listened to the glowing testimonials and recommendations made by the manager and her two extremely enthusiastic protégés.  They double-dog dazzled us with tales of the battery saving, ambient noise reducing, vocal quality enriching, and life force enhancing abilities of the four tiny trinkets laying on the counter before us.

Finally, I chose to purchase the second most expensive of the four.  There were smiles all around.  I was just preparing to pay when, suddenly, credit card in hand, I stopped; the manager and her two enthusiastic protégés stopped, too; my companion stopped; the  entire world stopped, or so it seemed to me, as the thought crossed my mind.

Promptly pushing the slightly peeling plastic purchasing placard back into my shirt pocket, I said to the sales manager, “Oh, I almost forgot.  Please show my friend here where on the package it states that this is a A2DP compliant device.”

After gazing down at the shiny package for what seemed like an eternity, she said, “I don’t see it on here.  It doesn’t matter.  I have one at home and it will work fine for you, trust me.” 

Beginning to feel defeated, I invited her to point out the A2DP compliance notification on the three rejected devices still laying on the sales counter.  She was unable to do so. 

She and her two not so enthusiastic protégés excused themselves and made a hasty retreat to the rear of the store, apparently, to consult the AT&T Wireless oracle.

My companion and I waited. 

Finally, she and she alone returned; her, by now most likely no longer enthusiastic protégés, forever banished to the big box wireless warehouse in the sky.

Upon approaching she said, “I’m afraid we don’t have any of those devices in stock but I don’t think it matters, they’re all the same.” 

To wit I replied, and I quote, “Oh but it does matter.  I know you told me to trust you but, first, you’ve got to trust me.  I know what I need and I never believe what I cannot read, especially when it comes to technology.”

As we exited the store, lofty Bluetooth relief left for another day, my companion asked, “Why, at the end there, did you ask her to point out that information?”

I replied, “Because I did not think she would be able to.”

Caveat Emptor,

Mark